Raising Calm Minds, Part 3: Cultivating Calmness in Children Ages 6–8
“I am learning to feel what I feel… and do something healthy with it.”
Between ages 6 and 8, children’s emotional world becomes more complex. They’re starting to identify specific emotions (not just “happy” or “mad”) and may begin to reflect on their own reactions. But their ability to regulate those emotions—especially under stress—is still developing.
This is a powerful window for teaching kids how to return to calm, not by suppressing emotions but by understanding, honoring, and moving through them.
Children at this stage can begin to internalize strategies for self-regulation. That means we can start shifting from adult-led calming to more co-creative and self-led practices.
What’s Happening in the 6–8 Brain?
The prefrontal cortex (logic, planning, self-control) is growing fast but still easily overridden by emotional overload.
Kids can reflect more, ask “why,” and begin to grasp cause and effect.
Peer interactions start shaping emotional identity—school becomes a training ground for social-emotional growth.
They still need strong adult modeling and consistent emotional support.
Calming Techniques for Children Ages 6–8
1. Create a Personalized “Calm Toolbox”
At this age, children can begin to choose what works for them. Invite them to co-create a calming kit.
Include:
A stress ball or fidget
Drawing materials
A mini notebook for “feeling dumps”
Breathing cards or calming strategy flashcards
A list of “safe words” or phrases they can say when overwhelmed (e.g., “I need a break,” “Too much noise,” “My body feels tight”)
Encourage them to use the toolbox proactively, not just reactively.
2. Teach and Practice Specific Breathing Techniques
By now, children can follow multi-step breathing exercises—and even teach them to others!
Some favorites:
Balloon Breath: Imagine inflating a balloon in the belly, hold, then let it go slowly.
4-4-4-4 Box Breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. (Use visuals!)
Ocean Breath: Inhale with a soft whoosh, exhale slowly with sound like waves.
Practice during calm moments so it becomes easier to access in stressful ones.
3. Name It to Tame It
Now that their vocabulary is expanding, help kids build a rich emotional language.
Try:
Using a feelings wheel or chart
Asking: “Where do you feel that in your body?”
Drawing emotions as characters or creatures
Using metaphors: “Is your anger like a volcano or a storm today?”
Understanding emotions leads to regulating them.
4. Movement for Emotional Reset
Kids at this age often carry tension physically. Use movement to release and reset.
Ideas:
Shake it off: Full-body wiggle to “get the worry out”
Animal races: Bear crawl, frog jumps, or sloth walks depending on their energy
Five-point grounding walk: Name 5 things you see, 4 hear, 3 touch, 2 smell, 1 feel in your body while walking slowly
Push-the-wall: Let them push with all their might—this gives deep sensory input and calms the system
5. Create a Calm-Down Plan (and Post It!)
Kids love having a role in problem-solving.
Together, write a Calm Plan and hang it up:
Notice the feeling
Name it out loud
Choose a calm tool
Take a break if needed
Come back when ready
This empowers autonomy and builds trust in their own ability to manage emotions.
6. Use Emotional Storytelling
Children 6–8 can begin to reflect on past experiences. Use stories and simple journaling to build awareness.
Try:
“Tell me about a time you felt super calm. What helped?”
Use short comic strips to help them “edit” their reactions in imaginary situations
Write simple “feelings stories” together where the character uses calming strategies to solve problems
This gives them a way to practice calm outside of high-stress moments.
7. Sensory-Soothing Routines
Help kids learn which sensory inputs calm them best.
Options include:
Noise-canceling headphones for quiet time
Weighted blanket or lap pad
Smooth stone or “calm rock” to hold
Soft background music or nature sounds
Smelling essential oils (like lavender or orange) for grounding
Let them experiment with what soothes their system.
8. Teach the Calm-Down “Code Word”
Agree on a private signal or word they can use when they feel too overwhelmed to talk. It gives them power to ask for space without shame.
Examples:
“Cool-down time”
“Bubble moment”
A peace sign, or simply saying “Reset”
When they use it, respond with calm and support, not correction or urgency.
9. Model Your Inner Calm—And Be Honest When You’re Not
Kids this age are watching everything. When you show your own regulation process, they learn by example.
Say:
“I’m starting to feel frustrated. I’m going to take a few breaths.”
“I’m walking away for a moment to calm my mind. I’ll be back.”
“That noise is a little much for me—let’s lower it together.”
You normalize emotional honesty and the ability to self-correct.
Children aged 6 to 8 are just beginning to connect the dots between feelings, thoughts, and actions. By teaching them to return to calm—not through pressure, but through curiosity and practice—you’re giving them skills that will last a lifetime.
Calmness isn’t perfection. It’s knowing what to do when big emotions rise. Let’s guide them not toward silence, but toward inner peace and confidence in their own emotional world.