Raising Calm Minds, Part 2: Cultivating Calmness in Children Ages 3–5

“Calmness is not the absence of energy—it’s the presence of inner safety.”

The preschool years are a whirlwind of wonder, movement, and emotion. Between ages 3 and 5, children begin to explore the world with fierce curiosity and growing independence—but they still rely heavily on the emotional cues of the adults around them.

At this stage, children are more aware of their emotions, but they don’t yet have the tools to fully manage them. Their prefrontal cortex—the brain’s center for self-regulation—is still under construction. This means meltdowns, impulsive behaviors, and emotional overload are completely normal.

The good news? These years are ripe for teaching and practicing calmness.

Let’s explore powerful ways to help children ages 3–5 develop a calm mind and body—tools they can use today and carry with them for life.

What’s Happening in the 3–5 Brain?

• Rapid development in language and imagination

• Emotions often outpace logic or reasoning

• Easily overstimulated by noise, lights, crowds, or fast transitions

• Increased ability to understand feelings, rules, and routines—but still very reliant on adults for regulation

Calming Techniques for Preschoolers (3–5 Years)

1. Name the Feeling, Then Offer the Tool

At this age, kids are learning to link words with emotions. Giving them both emotional labels and calming tools helps build internal awareness.

• “You’re feeling frustrated. Let’s take three dragon breaths.”

• “Looks like your body is full of energy. Let’s do five wall pushes to help calm it down.”

Tool pairing tip: Always link a feeling with a calming action. Over time, they’ll begin to make that link themselves.

2. Breathing Games That Feel Like Play

Preschoolers may not sit still for traditional breathing exercises—but they’ll happily engage in playful ones.

Try these:

• Dragon Breath: Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth with a loud "whoosh" like a fire-breathing dragon.

• Smell the Flower, Blow Out the Candle: Pretend to hold a flower (inhale) and a candle (exhale).

• Belly Breathing with a Stuffed Animal: Lie on the floor, place a toy on their belly, and watch it rise and fall as they breathe slowly.

3. Calm-Down Corners (Not Time-Outs!)

Create a cozy, inviting space with calming materials where kids can go when they feel overwhelmed—not as punishment, but as a reset.

Include:

• Soft pillows or blankets

• Sensory toys or squishy balls

• Emotion cards

• Books about feelings

• Glitter jars or calm-down bottles

Teach them to visit the space before they hit full meltdown mode. Model it yourself when you need a moment, too!

4. Use Visual Cues to Anchor Calm

• Visuals help preschoolers understand transitions, routines, and emotions.

• Daily visual schedules reduce anxiety about “what’s next”

• Feeling faces charts help them point to how they feel when words are hard

• Emotion thermometers show the difference between calm, alert, and overwhelmed

Make visuals simple, colorful, and accessible.

5. Movement-Based Regulation

Preschoolers need to move to release energy and tension. Use intentional movement to bring their nervous system back to calm.

• Wall pushes (press palms into a wall as hard as they can)

• Chair push-ups (pressing up from a seated position)

• Animal walks (bear crawl, crab walk)

• Slow-motion yoga poses (tree, child’s pose, butterfly)

Follow high-energy play with slower, grounding movements to help transition into calm.

6. Storytelling to Process Emotions

Young children love stories—and stories help them make sense of their big inner world.

Try:

• Reading books about emotions and regulation (e.g., The Color Monster, When Sophie Gets Angry)

• Telling stories with their toys where a character learns to breathe, take a break, or name their feelings

• Creating a “calm superhero” character they can pretend to be when they feel overwhelmed

7. Use Rhythmic Connection to Reset

Calm lives in rhythm. When a child is dysregulated, rhythm helps re-sync their body and mind.

Try:

• Gentle tapping or drumming on their back

• Rocking in a rocking chair or hammock

• Singing a familiar lullaby in a soft voice

• Doing a “tap and breathe” routine together (tap shoulders or thighs while breathing deeply)

8. Model, Model, Model

You are their blueprint.

• Narrate your own calming process: “I’m getting a little overwhelmed. I’m going to take a breath.”

• Stay as steady as possible during their meltdowns—your presence matters more than your words

• Offer comfort even when you set limits: “It’s okay to feel mad. I won’t let you hit.”

A calm preschooler is not a quiet, still, perfectly-behaved child. A calm preschooler is one who is learning what their emotions feel like and being guided to handle them with safety and trust.

These are the years when emotional habits are formed. When we teach calmness through play, connection, and presence, we give our children the greatest gift: the ability to come back to themselves.