Emotions Make Us Human: A Message for Teachers and Parents on Emotional Intelligence
As teachers and parents, we’re often told to manage behavior, model values, teach responsibility, and encourage success. But behind every behavior is an emotion. And behind every child’s success or struggle is a web of unspoken feelings.
In our attempt to shape minds and guide lives, we can’t afford to ignore the one thing that makes all of us—adults and children alike—fully human: our emotions.
Emotions are not a distraction from learning or growth. They are the foundation of it.
Understanding emotions—both our own and our children’s—is not optional. It’s essential. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is not just another theory. It’s the difference between surviving and thriving in relationships, in classrooms, and in homes.
Why Emotions Matter in Education and Parenting
Children don’t always say, “I’m overwhelmed,” “I feel rejected,” or “I don’t feel safe.”
Instead, they act out. They withdraw. They cry. They talk back. They shut down.
When we learn to look beyond the surface behavior, we begin to ask the most important EQ question:
“What is this child feeling—and needing—right now?”
And even more:
“What am I feeling—and how is that shaping my reaction?”
Emotions:
Impact attention, memory, and learning
Shape motivation and confidence
Influence behavior and choices
Affect how we relate to others
Reflect the climate of the home or classroom
Two Common Mistakes Adults Make About Emotions
1. Emotionalism: “Feelings are everything”
Some adults overemphasize emotion, allowing children to be completely guided by their feelings without teaching emotional regulation or boundaries.
“You’re angry, so hit.”
“You’re sad, so don’t do your homework.”
“You’re frustrated, so yell.”
This leads to chaos and confusion, not healthy emotional growth.
2. Stoicism: “Feelings don’t matter”
Others ignore emotions altogether, thinking they’re distractions from learning or discipline.
“Stop crying.”
“Be strong.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
This silences the child and teaches them to disconnect from their emotional life.
Both approaches are unbalanced. The goal is not emotional suppression or indulgence. The goal is emotional integration.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
EQ is the ability to:
Recognize emotions in yourself and others
Understand what those emotions mean
Regulate your emotional responses
Use emotions wisely to guide decisions, connect with others, and stay resilient
For parents and teachers, this starts with us. Children are not just listening to what we say—they are watching how we live, how we speak when angry, how we repair after a rupture, how we handle frustration, disappointment, and conflict.
EQ isn’t taught through lectures. It’s caught through presence, tone, warmth, and emotional modeling.
Practical Ways to Model and Teach EQ
For Yourself:
Pause before reacting. Ask, “What am I feeling right now?”
Name your feelings aloud: “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, so I need a minute to breathe.”
Breathe and ground. Regulating your nervous system helps calm theirs.
Repair openly. If you lose your cool, say, “I’m sorry I yelled. I was frustrated. You didn’t deserve that.”
With Children:
Help them name their emotions. “You look really disappointed. Is that how you feel?”
Normalize all feelings—even the tough ones: “It’s okay to feel angry. What matters is what we do with that anger.”
Use emotion coaching: "It’s okay to be sad that you didn’t get picked. What do you think would help you feel better right now?"
Build a feeling vocabulary: Use charts, books, stories, and games.
Practice calming strategies together: Deep breathing, movement breaks, journaling, or quiet time.
Building Emotionally Intelligent Environments
In both classrooms and homes:
Start with safety. A child cannot learn or grow emotionally when they don’t feel emotionally safe.
Celebrate emotional expression, not just academic success.
Make space for emotional check-ins. Ask, “What was the best and hardest part of your day?”
Model emotional repair. Apologize. Forgive. Reconnect.
The Emotional Mirror Principle
Children reflect the emotional maturity of the adults around them.
If we are anxious, harsh, or reactive—they absorb that.
If we are grounded, compassionate, and open—they learn to be the same.
This is not about being perfect. It’s about being aware.
The Gift of Emotions
Emotions are not something to “get past” so we can get to the “real work” of parenting or teaching.
Emotions are the real work.
The more emotionally intelligent we become, the more we:
Connect, not control
Respond, not react
Teach, not just tell
Heal, not just discipline
Because when you help a child learn how to navigate their emotions, you’re not just helping them today.
You’re equipping them for a lifetime of healthy relationships, inner strength, and meaningful growth.